This is going to be a really quick post. I need to get some things out of my head.
Having realized, during counselling, that I indeed had feelings for my best friend, my actions towards and interactions with her changed. Now that I feel as though I am at least in part over these feelings, I am left wondering if my behaviour of the past few months has done irreparable damage to our relationship. She, as far as I am aware, has no idea of the reasoning behind my behaviour. Can I now tell her? Should I have done so before now? I am conflicted and concerned.
The only reason I didn’t say anything previously is that I thought that was selfish on my part, and I didn’t want to have any sort of negative effect on her marriage. Previous rumours about the two of us, though false, have created this fear in me.
A part of me thinks that if I tell her what has been up she will be completely supportive and we will move on together, but my anxious mind says that I have done so much damage to our friendship that this explanation will not be well received.
I have no idea what I’m going to do or if it is even worth attempting to explain myself.