Is all of this my fault?

If you have read this blog before you may be aware of the problems that my best friend and myself have been having. All of these problems have arisen from the complexity of our relationship, a friendship with a degree of romance that can never be.

I have spent almost every waking hour over the last few weeks trying to work out how this happened. Is this my fault?

Two of my closest other friends, my weekly cinema buddies, are also close with her. I know that the whole situation is highly frustrating for them, and from what they say it is equally upsetting for her as it is for me. With this in mind, I am confused as to why we haven’t sorted ourselves out. I have no issue with her at all, if anything I feel like I maybe care too much. Supposedly she has no issue either, according to our mutual friends. You would think that this being the case everything would be fine.

It sometimes feels like everything with us works better outside the workplace, like being around other people like we are at work doesn’t help the situation. Too many people have an opinion on us, without having the slightest idea of our past. Until last week one of our closest friends didn’t have any idea how close we once were, he said it sounded like we were almost a couple at one point. Maybe this is the problem, did I give the impression at any point that that was something that I wanted? If so, did that cause this weirdness?

I can’t help but think that I am completely at fault for all of this. Unfortunately, it is currently far too awkward for me to question her, so I’ll just have to deal with it the best I can.

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